Welcome to the future, dear readers! The year 2030 is here, and the economy has finally embraced the ultimate driver of progress: narcissism. Yes, you read that right. The global economy is no longer powered by innovation, sustainability, or even profit—it’s fueled by the insatiable self-love of its key players. And I have to say: it’s working surprisingly well.
The New Currency: Likes and Ego
Money? That’s so 2023. The new currency in the 2030 economy is called “Ego Points.” Companies are no longer evaluated based on revenue or profits but on the number of selfies their CEOs post on LinkedIn. The more filters, the higher the stock price. Goldman Sachs recently hit a billion Ego Points after their CEO posted a photo of himself doing yoga on a floating stool—naturally, with the hashtag #MindfulnessInFinance.
Companies as Personality Showcases
Companies aren’t companies anymore; they’re personality showcases. Apple has rebranded itself as “iAm” and now exclusively sells products that reflect your ego. The latest iPhone comes with a built-in mirror display and an AI that tells you every hour how incredibly good-looking you are. Tesla? Elon Musk has renamed it “Elon’s Universe.” The cars still drive themselves, but only to chauffeur you to the best Instagram photo spots.
The Workplace of the Future: A Self-Congratulatory Paradise
The offices of 2030 aren’t places of work anymore—they’re self-congratulatory paradises. Meetings consist entirely of compliment circles, where employees take turns praising each other’s “unique brilliance.” Criticism? That’s a thing of the past. Instead, there are “Ego Boost Sessions,” where every participant presents their latest achievements—whether it’s buying a new Rolex or completing an online course titled “How to Be Even More Narcissistic.”
Sustainability? Only If It Flatters Me!
Sustainability used to be a thing. But in the narcissistic economy of 2030, it’s not about saving the world—it’s about looking good while pretending to save it. Companies are planting trees, but only if each tree comes with a personalized plaque bearing the CEO’s name. “This tree was planted by me because I’m simply amazing,” it reads in golden letters. And if the tree doesn’t grow fast enough? Don’t worry—it gets replaced by a statue of the CEO.
The Stock Market: A Battle of Egos
The stock market in 2030 is one big ego battle. Stock prices no longer rise and fall based on fundamentals but on how many followers a CEO has on social media. A tweet that says, “I’m the best,” can send a stock soaring in seconds. And if a CEO has a bad day and forgets to praise themselves? Well, the stock takes a nosedive. But don’t worry—there are now “Ego Consultants” who help CEOs maintain their self-confidence 24/7, keeping the economy afloat.
Conclusion: Narcissism Saves the World
Who would have thought that the savior of the global economy would be narcissism? Yet here we are: 2030, the year when self-love isn’t just accepted—it’s celebrated. The economy is booming, the stock market is thriving, and CEOs are glowing—mostly in their own reflections.
So, dear readers, don’t forget: in the economy of tomorrow, only one thing matters—you. Post relentlessly, praise yourself loudly, and always remember: the world revolves around you. Or at least the stock market does.
#EgoEconomy #Narcissism2030 #IAmTheFuture